First off, holy balls I cannot stop sneezing.
Anyways, gonna write up what I remember of last night's dream, because it was really good and I wanna remember it and make a comic out of it.
Some back story is necessary for this, of course. It involves the guy I had a crush on in my last 2 years of high school. He was 2 grades younger than me, but I think he's a year younger? Anyways our relationship was basically us playing chicken to see who could make the first move and talk. Yeah it happened for neither of us. Only ever learned his name from my cousin.
Oh nope just did the math he's 2 years younger well that makes me feel a bit better about never seeing him again
Anyways he was really tall and really cute and quiet and I think it would be really awk if he ever found this and somehow tracked it to me but I doubt he would so w/e
The dream went something like this; we were at my old high school and we were in class. Me and him were talking about something, and I guess we were going to the city or a baseball game together or something?? I remember he liked baseball a lot
Anyways when it was time for us to leave we approached his car with his family in it bc he cant drive or anything and I guess I was just associating it with when I did see him in cars which he wasn't driving
Anyways I instantly freaked out and thought OH YOU KNOW I FORGOT SOMETHING I DONT WANNA MAKE YOU LATE SO YOU JUST GO ON AHEAD and walked away and he grabbed my arm and was like dude youre coming arent you lets go!! and I was like OH...YEAH HAHAHA and anyways after that we ended up in a park because it wasnt time to go but for some reason his family was hanging around us too and I was kinda weirded out but whatever we were goofing off on the swings but my freaking skirt kept flipping up and I was super embarrassed because his parents were RIGHT THERE and oh look so were my goddamn shorts under my skirt and i kept trying to keep my skirt down but it just wouldnt STAY DOWN and it was so freaking embarrassing
Anyways after that we hung around his house for a bit where I met this guy who talked for his dad?? because his dad didn't like talking idk it was weird
Anyways after that we went to the game, which to me was a blur because we left early, and then we were having dinner in a restaurant, and his dad's speaker was like "His parents don't really like you for their son, you're too indecent and sex crazed" and I gave them a look like....what??? Where did that even come from?? This was a date?? I thought we were just hanging out or something what? And I guess I was getting visibly upset because my crush grabbed me and we darted out of there and into i think like a department store or something
we kept joking around about dumb stuff and I guess he was trying to get me to stop thinking about stuff like that and he kept saying stuff that made me think he was gonna confess or something and it made me feel weird because I was like dude wait what
I was mostly concerned with asking him about the whole indecent and sexual thing because i was just like oh god its because my skirt kept flipping up isnt it
and I wanted to tell him im not hugely sexual or anything I haven't even kissed anyone because i was like omg what if that got him to kiss me but that would have been weird right
anyways we skipped around with our conversations while exploring the shopping center we ended up in and he kept saying stuff like "I don't know what my parents are thinking, you're fine just how you are--" and he kept slipping up and almost I guess confessing or just about to say something embarrassing and i just kinda shrugged it off like w/e if he wants to say it he can I just enjoy his company so I'm good
anyways after a long time of window shopping and chatting he finally outs with what he almost said all day and apparently wanted me to dress up as some anime character he liked and im like whatever dude I do this normally enough
and he was super embarrassed about it and i thought it was kinda cute and he gave me a bag with the outfit and wig and i went into a dressing room and I think thats when I woke up
anyways it was a weird dream and realizing hes now 16 and I will probably never see him again and I'm a big creepy weirdo
It made my heart hurt I guess :"(
I kinda miss having my heart beat fast whenever I saw a certain person or just feel fluttery thinking about someone
even if it was just hardcore infatuation its just like man im lonely
sad life, man
